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Eat The Damn Chili


With the holidays upon us I’m finding myself pulled in numerous directions:  studying for school as a full-time student, running my business, coaching and honoring each client, preparing for an upcoming board position, writing multiple books, being a present wife and mom, keeping a warm and welcoming home, maintaining my presence on social media, writing a newsletter….the list goes on and on.


During my exit session with my client Michelle (See video HERE) we discussed the intensive program she has completed and what it meant to her. 


One of the themes I work with my clients at length is no longer searching for others to give them permission.


Permission to make their own choices.

Permission to forge their own way.

Permission to define what success is to them.


During Michelle and I’s time together we discussed her struggle with the weight loss industry and all the different do’s and don’ts to achieve success and how they left her broken and frustrated.


Hence, “eat the damn chili.” 


We worked to rewrite WHO she was waiting for permission from.


This is no different from other women I’ve coached:

-Whom are they waiting for permission to go back to school?

-Whom are they waiting for permission to ask for that raise?

-Whom are they waiting for permission for moving out of the state?

-Whom are they waiting for permission to grow in leadership?

-Whom are they waiting for permission to write that book, start that business, be a stay at home mom, or head a philanthropic effort?


Too many times we fall prey to the prescribed ways of life, “So and so does it this way." “So and so says this is the only way to find success.”


I say eat the damn chili.  This euphemism represents the capability each and every woman has to climb the heights she wishes in life without the need of permission being granted.

You choose how to define your success.


You choose to give yourself permission to grow and change from who you are today. 

Don’t wait for anyone to permit you.


Don’t listen to the experts without first asking if what they tout as THE way to accomplish something lines up with how you define yourself.


So, as the holidays approach. I’m choosing to eat the damn chili. I’m choosing to take some time away from those “must do’s to create a professional presence” and rest, relax, and revive. I’m choosing to step back on newsletters and social media presence.  

Will this “hurt” me?


I don’t think so.


This is how I must ultimately define my personal success and confidently walk in that pursuit. 

Success for me this holiday season is breathing room in my schedule and trusting I am the expert in my life.


Is it time for you to eat the damn chili? 


Give yourself permission. original publish date: November 21, 2019

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