Thank God my best friend lives right across the street.
My husband was busy with our sons preparing for midterms and I was in desperate need of a “debrief.”
A particularly tough coaching session sent me propelling back in time to a place I’d much sooner like to forget. My young years as a mental health counselor in psychiatric units and group homes taught me many positive aspects that I have continued to carry on: authentic empathy, curiosity, loving firmness, communication and more. It also taught me there are very ugly things in our world of which counseling or coaching may have no effect.
My friend has a way of drawing out exactly what she knows I need to subside the tears and focus me on what is ahead. She reminded me of the purpose I have been pursuing for so long. She reminded me of the determination I have had and the hurdles I have overcome. She reminded me of the steps I have taken and continue to take to continue in affecting change in as many lives as I possibly can.
I wish all had a friend like mine.
Determination can be exhilarating and painful. It can be extraordinary and exhausting. It can be full of beautiful energy and the ugliest of lows. Here are 5 tips you can use to keep your determination in check as you enter into a New Year, even when you question your purpose.
1. Who Is In Your Corner?
When inevitably you will come face to face with challenges, it’s important to take note of who is around you. Those times of dismay and questioning, be sure to pay close attention to who genuinely wants to see you succeed and the others who don’t. Wisely pick and choose who is in your corner.
2. Visualize the Future
It’s not enough to simply visualize the end all be all goal you wish to reach, you must visualize each step it will take to feel confident in your determined purpose. Allow your mind to wander through these steps. Many times quietly visualizing will open up new opportunities you’ve not considered.
3. Time To Remember
History tells us all that we can learn from the good and the bad. Connect deeply with your "why history" and you will find within it woven determination. It may seem no one experience weaves with another so enlist a friend/confidante who will help you to gain a different perspective and give you the nudge you need to continue forward.
4. Feel Forward
Strong emotions can come out of nowhere, do not fear these emotions however, remind yourself to feel forward, don’t become trapped by emotions. Recognize your strengths, your weaknesses, what you have accomplished, be kind, and forgive yourself. Continued determination will always be found in forward momentum.
5. Embrace Distraction
My best friend not only knew how to bring me through my struggle she also knows the benefits of distraction. Find options to nudge yourself from negative rumination. Give yourself an allotted amount of time, cozy up with a good book, laugh at a silly sitcom, enjoy a glass of wine and watch the lights on your Christmas tree glimmer. Sometimes a few minutes of distraction can give you the reprieve you need to continue in your determined purpose.
Purposeful determination can guide you in achieving and overcoming all kinds of hurdles. Practice these 5 tips to keep moving in your purpose.
original publish date December 21, 2019