Updated: Jul 13, 2019
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Accepting Applications: TRIBE
We hear and see TRIBE everywhere don’t we?
-Cute signs made of shiplap and written beautifully in calligraphy (Joanna probably created it)
-Esty’s artists designing necklaces, bracelets, and cool retro tees
-News articles, blogs, and podcasts….
Why is it prevalent?
What is it?
Recent studies have shown that we, the human race, are the MOST lonely we have ever been. A recent survey found 46% of respondents reported sometimes or always feeling alone. Another study found that individuals who visit social media 50 times or more per week have three times the odds of feeling socially isolated compared to those who visited 10 or less times.
The advent of social media was to bring people together from all across the globe however, these studies are finding a direct correlation between the time we spend scrolling and increased isolation and depression.
Enter your TRIBE.
The explosion of building your tribe can be directly associated with the increased use of social media, work from home jobs, and all that comes along with that isolation: dissatisfaction, anxiety, feelings of less….
But, how are people finding and creating their tribe?
Most go about it haphazardly:
-A cousin who has known you since birth but only seems to reminisce about burping contests and <i>"remember that time when..."</i>
-Friend from college who is steeped in self-doubt and remains frozen in their current position of delivering pizzas and living in their mom’s basement
-A group of women you were introduced to, whom you have zero in common but at least you’re not bored.
-Neighbor down the street who invites you to hang only when you have wine in your hand and willingness to listen to their stories filled with self flagellation and ego all in one
None of these individuals are BAD for your tribe but, they can be haphazard, “just happens”, and “just becauses”, ask yourself "how are they elevating me?"
One of the most basic human needs is BELONGING, where do you fit?
Now listen, does this mean you CAN'T have the above individuals in your life?
I once heard someone talk about relationships and pools…
The shallow end is for those individuals that are super fun to hang with for an hour here and an hour there. They know the peripheral of who you are, your job, dogs name, and how you take your martini.
The slopping middle. These are the individuals who you spend more time with, can enjoy an easy conversation regarding books read, current events, and possibly how you’re getting your diet back on track.
The deep end. This is reserved for those relationships which are built on a trust of give and take. You know each others goals, dreams, and weaknesses. You speak up when you see the other step in the wrong direction or celebrate even their smallest wins because you know how it will build up their confidence. You have a stake in this individuals life.
You can choose with whom you spend the majority of your time. You can choose who will be in your inner tribe….you can start accepting applications to build a tribe that supports and uplifts you.
Here are 5 Steps you can take:
1. What are you most important values and beliefs?
Write these down, create a list.
Find someone like minded.
2. What kind of activities do you enjoy or wish to try out?
Find someone willing to teach or try it out with you.
Try out a new class or event.
3. Listen to you gut. Seriously.
If you feel at odds with your current companions, that’s an indication that you’re at odds with what you’re trying to do and who you are spending your time and energy on.
4. What or who intrigues you?
CEO you stalk on LinkedIn?
How to garden?
Find them, introduce yourself! You'll never know what you can learn or who will be willing to walk with you if you don't introduce yourself.
5. Accept applications!
Start saying No. You can choose which applicants you accept. Listen to you gut, create a list of qualities, and choose who, what, where and when is all part of building out your personal application with those vying to be in your tribe.
Your tribe will build and shrink. Evolve and dissolve. That’s honestly the transformation of your life and others around you.
So, ask yourself:
What are my goals and dreams?
Am I lonely and anxious with my current tribe?
Am I willing to feed into another?
Do I want to learn and grow?
Who can give me advice, whom can I trust?
Now…go build your tribe. Grow, transform and feed into others. It feels good to have belonging and you can create it. (Pssstttt...put down your device and opt for some in person contact, you don't have to be lonely in a world full of amazing people.) Article resources: Cigna. ‘Research Puts Spotlight on the Impact of Loneliness in the U.S. and Potential Root Cause.’ Accessed 5/14/18. Available at: https://www.multivu.com/players/English/8294451-cigna-us-loneliness-survey/ ------------ Piper Harris is a coach, trainer, and mentor working with women to create lives that drive, empower, excite, and motivate them through life coaching specializing in whole wellness. Pssst....would you rather listen than read? Great head on over scroll to podcast #7 https://www.piperharris.net/podcast